So I used to be a square peg. Life experiences, hardships and joyous occasions have cut off my corners. I am not sure I am a round peg, but I am definitely no longer square. Since Ben died, I have been trying to figure out who I am. I have been trying to understand this new life and how it has/will shape me.
In some friendships, I actually found myself feeling like a naked round peg, trying desperately to put her corners back on. I just didn't "feel comfortable in my own skin". I felt I had to be a certain way, act a certain way, dress a certain way, although I had no idea what that "way" was.
I still don't know who I am without him. I still have no idea where this journey will ultimately take me. I do know that Ben taught me so much about myself. I know that he loved me, despite my chipped off corners, and maybe even because of them. In fact, I think he may have knocked one or two off for me.