Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Missing Piece

I heard a line in a song that said something about "feeling like a puzzle who cant find its missing piece." I really relate to that statement. Lately I have been thinking about how my situation is a little different as a military widow. It has been fourteen years since I have lived in the area where I grew up. In addition, we moved around a lot so my friends are scattered all over the country. We used to have a little picture in our home that said, "Home is where the Army sends you". Ben and I learned how to deal with that. Each place eventually became our new home.

Now I am in this new place, and I am trying to figure out why I am here. At the time, it was the only thing that felt at all right. Its a beautiful place! I love the weather, the area, the people, being close to the ocean. I just still feel so out of place. I went to a birthday party for one of Olivia's neighborhood friends. These neighbors have been amazing to us. They have practically adopted us. Its funny how something as simple as going to a childs birthday party can be so hard. The party was full of cute little kids with their adoring cute parents close behind. Happy couples everywhere! The party was at the same place we had Olivia's birthday. Its a huge warehouse with giant bouncy castles and slides. Parents were playing right along with their kids. Moms and Dads racing each other to the top of the rock climbing wall, or through the slide obstacle course. Everything Ben and I would be doing if he were here.

As corny a line as it is, I always loved the line in "Jerry Macguire", "You complete me". Ben did that for me. I always thought of myself as a complete person when we met, but after so many years together, our lives became so intertwined it was hard to separate myself completely from him. I never wanted to. I miss my missing piece.