Sunday, November 21, 2010


Patience has never been my strong point. It's the American way. We have a DVR so we never miss a TV show we want to see. We have microwaves so our meals can be cooked super fast. We have cell phones with us at all times so we never miss a phone call!

I have been feeling less than patient about all the things I am doing in my life. I want to get back in school, but due to budget cuts California state colleges are limiting the amount of new students they can take. They are considering new student applications for the August 2011 semester.

I am trying hard to make this new area feel like home. I am slowly but surely making friends, yet I am frustrated with the process of having to put myself "out there" to meet people. Especially at a time when curling up on my couch seems so much more appealing.

I have taken a long break from the gym. I am realizing more and more that it is hard to be at a gym without Ben. We met at a gym over fourteen years ago. Something about being at a gym without him feels so wrong. Who am I kidding, everything without him feels wrong. However, denial can only take you so far. I have purchased a scale and have even bravely stepped on it. Lets just say it wasn't pretty. I have stepped up my exercise game, opting for running rather than the gym. The scale is moving in the right direction, however patience again escapes me, as it feels like it is moving so painfully slow!

I just want to feel all better, NOW! I want to be healed, well adjusted, excelling in school, surrounded by friends, in my amazingly tiny skinny jeans.


  1. Yeahhh... Good luck with that!

    Have you read my latest blog post? Ask yourself, Veruca dear, WWWD?

  2. I hear you about the patience. I have none either. And the thing that we need it most on is learning to live this new life that was thrown our way. I don't know about you, but sometimes I just want it to end, right now, whether that be just the depression, the laziness, whatever, I want my life back now.

  3. Yup. Me too. I find myself desperately wanting to just be "normal" again, be happy. NOW.

  4. Thanks ladies!

    @marianne.....just read it....WWWD? I just dont know! EAT CHOCOLATE!

    @ann and karen...I know you both know how I feel. Love ya girls!

  5. Yup, I feel you on this one... I want my life to hurry up and restart already! I'm tired of being a defective widow - I'd like a normal life now please.