Ben started writing us these little cards about half way through his tour in Iraq. They were sweet and always included....
1) Remember when (some little memory of our lives with him)
2) A note from Iraq (something about his time there)
3) Looking forward to (something he wanted to do with us for the first time, or something he missed doing with us).
These are cards we will cherish as Ben didn't write a lot of letters. I always kept two or three unopened as I just wanted to make sure he made it home safely. I wanted to still have something from him until I actually had HIM with me. So, when he returned I opened all but one. I could never really explain why I didn't open that last letter. He was home safe and sound, yet I still kept one letter unopened. Funny thing was, it wasn't the last one he wrote me. The post mark was May and he returned in September.
I remember finding that card after his death. I remember wondering if I would ever be able to open it. There were several thoughts in my mind about it. This was the last card I would ever receive from him. What if it was a silly one, without anything meaningful to it? What if it didn't live up to my expectations of being something wonderful?
I sat and read his cards again today, I laughed and I cried. He was just so witty and fun and thoughtful. He really had these fun and sweet memories that he shared, and I am so glad to know that he remembered these special moments of our life together. I thought again about that unopened card. I held it in my hands and then I did something I didn't think I would do, I opened it. It was beautiful. It was a memory of September 11th, 2001. It was about how our perspectives changed that day. I only wish he would have remembered that on March 10th, 2010.