Patience

Patience has never been my strong point. It's the American way. We have a DVR so we never miss a TV show we want to see. We have microwaves so our meals can be cooked super fast. We have cell phones with us at all times so we never miss a phone call!

I have been feeling less than patient about all the things I am doing in my life. I want to get back in school, but due to budget cuts California state colleges are limiting the amount of new students they can take. They are considering new student applications for the August 2011 semester.

I am trying hard to make this new area feel like home. I am slowly but surely making friends, yet I am frustrated with the process of having to put myself "out there" to meet people. Especially at a time when curling up on my couch seems so much more appealing.

I have taken a long break from the gym. I am realizing more and more that it is hard to be at a gym without Ben. We met at a gym over fourteen years ago. Something about being at a gym without him feels so wrong. Who am I kidding, everything without him feels wrong. However, denial can only take you so far. I have purchased a scale and have even bravely stepped on it. Lets just say it wasn't pretty. I have stepped up my exercise game, opting for running rather than the gym. The scale is moving in the right direction, however patience again escapes me, as it feels like it is moving so painfully slow!

I just want to feel all better, NOW! I want to be healed, well adjusted, excelling in school, surrounded by friends, in my amazingly tiny skinny jeans.